Anna, your writing is powerful. So meaningful. So beautiful. So poignant. You are holding so much. Undoubtably this is part of your healing process and will be for all those who read it who share your painful experience of grief and loss. I admire you so much.
Anna, this is so thought-provoking. First, I'm very sorry for your loss and am wishing you much strength and peace as you head into this weekend.
I relate to this idea of staying busy to tamp down the grief ... or deal with the grief ... however we want to look at it.
My family has been through many transitions and challenges this past year-plus -- they just keep coming. I have asked when I'll have time to grieve the loss of my mom, back in August.
Still, I think grief finds a way. Rather than falling apart for days or weeks, as I once imagined, I have fallen apart many times in bits and pieces.
It isn't the grief I expected, but it's grief I've got, and together we're working through this loss and others.
Thanks so much, Sarah. I can definitely relate to the way you describe your experience since losing your mother - bits and pieces, one challenge after another, coping then breaking down... it's far from linear. I hope you are also being kind and caring for yourself. Hugs <3
Thank you for your words. So many ways to celebrate our loved one’s lives.
For memorial events or milestones, I find that if I take the time to write to my son it helps with the stress and emotions of the event.
I cry. Have my time with him. To feel him and connect. Then I’m able to be in the rest of the day.
As far as the dream of your dad. If it were my dream, I’d think my dad is telling me that he’s always here. When I’m ready I can tell his stories. And he’s with me in his dreams. It’s not an image. His spirit is visiting.
If it were my dream, the fact that my dad was fading before I had the chance to tell my stories would encourage me to make the stories the focal point of the memorial.
I’d wonder what story would I want to tell?
What story would my dad want me to share?
Moving forward, how I can keep him a part of our lives through those stories?
Just like that willow tree disappearing (which made me sad reading that), how can I plant the seeds that will grow my father’s memory in other’s and my heart?
I would ask how do you plan to honor this dream?
I hope this helps and that your father’s stories lift you up ❤️
Iris and I started watching Six Feet Under last week. I’m not giving anything away by saying the first episode is about how a family grieves (and doesn’t) with their father’s unexpected death. The only one who seemed to enjoy the funeral was the ghost of the father, but it was cathartic for every character in a different way. I hope that your dad’s memorial is cathartic for you.
(And the trip to BsAs too. Magical city and incredible black market exchange rate.)
Six Feet Under! Like from the beginning? I remember watching some of it many many years ago. But that parallel to my dream/experience is pretty uncanny.
I’m excited for BsAs but have literally done zero research…
Anna. Thank you for continuing to write and share about this difficult journey you are on with such honesty - sharing how you are navigating the day to day with the real ways that grief flows in and out, when expected or not. Saturday will be just as your dad would have wanted.
Anna, your writing is powerful. So meaningful. So beautiful. So poignant. You are holding so much. Undoubtably this is part of your healing process and will be for all those who read it who share your painful experience of grief and loss. I admire you so much.
Thank you dear friend, your words mean so much to me ❤️
Anna, this is so thought-provoking. First, I'm very sorry for your loss and am wishing you much strength and peace as you head into this weekend.
I relate to this idea of staying busy to tamp down the grief ... or deal with the grief ... however we want to look at it.
My family has been through many transitions and challenges this past year-plus -- they just keep coming. I have asked when I'll have time to grieve the loss of my mom, back in August.
Still, I think grief finds a way. Rather than falling apart for days or weeks, as I once imagined, I have fallen apart many times in bits and pieces.
It isn't the grief I expected, but it's grief I've got, and together we're working through this loss and others.
Take care, and be good to yourself.
Thanks so much, Sarah. I can definitely relate to the way you describe your experience since losing your mother - bits and pieces, one challenge after another, coping then breaking down... it's far from linear. I hope you are also being kind and caring for yourself. Hugs <3
Thank you, Anna ♥️
Thank you for your words. So many ways to celebrate our loved one’s lives.
For memorial events or milestones, I find that if I take the time to write to my son it helps with the stress and emotions of the event.
I cry. Have my time with him. To feel him and connect. Then I’m able to be in the rest of the day.
As far as the dream of your dad. If it were my dream, I’d think my dad is telling me that he’s always here. When I’m ready I can tell his stories. And he’s with me in his dreams. It’s not an image. His spirit is visiting.
❤️
Thank you, Janine. I do feel him here. And I still have stories to tell when the time is right. <3
You'll know when☺️
Thank you for sharing your story.
If it were my dream, the fact that my dad was fading before I had the chance to tell my stories would encourage me to make the stories the focal point of the memorial.
I’d wonder what story would I want to tell?
What story would my dad want me to share?
Moving forward, how I can keep him a part of our lives through those stories?
Just like that willow tree disappearing (which made me sad reading that), how can I plant the seeds that will grow my father’s memory in other’s and my heart?
I would ask how do you plan to honor this dream?
I hope this helps and that your father’s stories lift you up ❤️
Beautiful, as always, Anna.
Thanks so much, Kirsten ❤️
Iris and I started watching Six Feet Under last week. I’m not giving anything away by saying the first episode is about how a family grieves (and doesn’t) with their father’s unexpected death. The only one who seemed to enjoy the funeral was the ghost of the father, but it was cathartic for every character in a different way. I hope that your dad’s memorial is cathartic for you.
(And the trip to BsAs too. Magical city and incredible black market exchange rate.)
Hugs.
Six Feet Under! Like from the beginning? I remember watching some of it many many years ago. But that parallel to my dream/experience is pretty uncanny.
I’m excited for BsAs but have literally done zero research…
Anna. Thank you for continuing to write and share about this difficult journey you are on with such honesty - sharing how you are navigating the day to day with the real ways that grief flows in and out, when expected or not. Saturday will be just as your dad would have wanted.
Thank YOU for being there for me though it all! I feel very comforted by your amazing planning guidance and help.
Agree with your friend Cecilia who said it all perfectly. I am sending you so much love right now.
Thanks my friend ❤️